Political organizer and mythological creature Bigfoot has announced his candidacy for congressional representative for Alabama District. A lifelong supporter of environmental causes and privacy rights, Bigfoot will present an odd candidate pick in the hotly contested race in Alabama. Bigfoot was quoted today as saying that he hopes to run a clean, fair campaign and will refrain from crushing the easily crushable heads of the other candidates.
“Bigfoot hope to run fair campaign. Bigfoot noble politician; takes after his father who was war chief of Bigfoot’s clan. Killed hundreds of enemies. Me Bigfoot likes playing with squirrels.”
The leading Democratic challenger was unaware that Bigfoot was real, and when asked about this was quoted as saying, “Wait. Bigfoot’s real?”, as the Republican candidate simply said, “Get out of my office.”