"You, you, you," said the man in the souped up car who had ... I mean, he had just run in front of me, which, you know, that's rude. Rudeness, rudeness, rudeness. I'm going to die soon. Rudeness. Not a fan of either of those.
"Are you eyeing me?" said the man in the very fancy car.
"Yeah, I'm eyeing you," I said.
"You think you're better than me? You think you can beat me? the great Jason?" he said
Jason got out of his car and started snapping his fingers and dancing towards me. It looked not good. It. Is that supposed to be intimidating? It's really not intimidating. It's, in fact, the opposite of intimidating. It's un-intimidating. I'll say something to that effect.
"You're un-intimidating, and I don't get what you're doing." I said
"I'm seductively dancing towards you." He said
"You look like a dinosaur." I said
"I'm being a very seductive dinosaur dancing towards you."
"Ah," I said.
"So, do you want to race me or not?" Jason said.
"Of course I want to race you. I already assumed we were going to race, the second I saw you drive near me," I said, lying. I didn't think any of these things. Oh, God, I'm about to get into a street race. Let me process this. PLet's see. Driving very fast, illegally. I don't see anything that could go wrong with this. “Okay, I'm up for this.”
“ladies and gentlemen, and whatever you may identify as, we have a new challenger! To the illegal race-a-thon 2000.”
"Do you have a car?" Jason said.
"No, I do not have a car."
"Easy. Benny, give up your car." He's pointing to the small man, who, I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say that they were friends from high school, but Benny's kind of moved on. It's not just because he's wearing a polo shirt, that's tucked into his shorts. That's a lot of the reason, and also, he's driving in the minivan.
"But, Jason. Wait, I need my car, because I've got to do errands and stuff." Said benny
"Benny. Benny, Benny, Benny. Listen to me, man. Is this so-called family you have more important than loaning your car out to a total stranger so that I can race them and prove that I'm the best driver in the continent?"
"I respect you, Benny. I respect the ferking hell out of you, man. You're my best friend, and that will never change. Okay. You come back here later tonight. We'll have another car. Not Benny's car, 'cause Benny has a life to live. “ said jason
“Mr. Jason, I'm thrilled and I am excited in more ways than you can understand," I said.
"Wonderful, the address is here." Jason took out a very professional looking card. I gotta say, I really respect Jason in a lot of these ways at this point.
Boom as they drove off boom their was a huge light their was nothing out their was just a big old spotlight in the middle of the street
“hello Ms. Bennis” said the sky
“god” I said
“they way some people talk to us its like we are”
It’s Sandy and Dave the CSIS no wait Canadian Security Intelligence Services agent ooh now I can see it is some sort of super advanced plane that almost invisible to the naked eye with is landing right in front of me the plane landed and the door is opening till it relived sandy and Dave standing their
“coagulations miss Bennis you work has proven essential to the forces of good” said sandy
“oh so you buy into the white and black world view of H.Q that is the thinking of a serial killer” said dave
“I was just trying to say she did a good job” said snady
“what ever I’m going to listen scream meatal clear my head” said Dave
He put on big puffy head phone and head bang and violently was punching violently people that were not even their
“any way about this whole race thing that your doing” said sandy
“oh I’m not doing that” said Melissa a person who is still me lying gracefully
“no you should” said sandy
“ok” I said
“looking good” said Jason
“thanks hey is it important that I know how to drive” I said
“Mabey” said Jason
Bad very so very bad or good maybe I will secretly be the best driver the world has ever seen get to compete le mans yea I will live on the edge
they will be like “vous n'avez pas à vivre sur le bord tout le temps Melissa”
Then I will go “Je suis né dessus” yea that’s whats going to happen
Just clutch the wheel look at all of those angry men clenching their teeth yes this the day you become the world great racer of all time one two three four and we are off I’m going over 100 miles its amazing I hit a tree, hospitals smell wired.