Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Melissa, you've made it this far. You're in the dragon's den, now all you've got to do is secretly place ...
Oh my God, what is that? Hot dog, it’s a giant squid stuffed and hung on the ceiling. Whoa. You know I don't know what people consider usual in homes for crazed billionaires, and I guess if people actually have their opinions on that, they would be most likely rich themselves. But, you know, something like that, that's hanging up on the ceiling right there is ... I don't know ... I don't think Town & Country really have been talking what appears to be a stuffed giant squid on the wall. Huh, that is something you do not see every day. Something else you don't see everyday? An eclipse. But that doesn't really have anything to do with the situation. It looks so ...
"It's amazing, isn't it?" said a voice that was far off in the distance. Like, really far. Oh wait, probably behind me. Just turn around. Oh, my God, there's a person. He's like a young guy, about my age. Good looking dude. He would be super smug at the trial where he gets off for killing me. In other words he looks like old money. Also, he's standing straight. Another way to tell if somebody has money, they don't stand up straight. Only way to tell if somebody's poor is if they're in the middle somewhere.
"Hello. John St John Junior. Nice to meet you," he said.
"An honor and a privilege," said I.
"Magnificent, isn't she? Yeah, me and dad, we were lost at sea for 30 days. It started as a simple bonding/get away from the feds for awhile until the whole investigation thing blows over trip. We were in the middle of the Pacific, out to the point where we were furthest away from Point Nemo, no land. And there, off the port side, we saw it, its massive tentacle, raising it up. Dad, of course was enthralled by it. He decided that he must have this creature. Initially, he wanted it as a pet, but after it killed six crewmen, that really wasn't an option anymore."
"Does it speak to you in your dreams?" I said.
JSJ Junior got very quiet for a minute, then even more very quiet. Oh, my God. He's been very quiet for like two minutes. You know you really can articulate things quite well sometimes. And other times you don't. Many times you don't.
Oh god, this is why you had a falling out with a bunch of your friends. After this I will call them and apologize to each of them. I'm sorry. Definitely sorry to a lot of people. I wonder if I'm afraid that I'm gonna be killed in this little adventure. Is he still not talking? No. Usually somebody interrupts me at this, but I'm just keeping going. Hm. I wonder if the giant squid had a girlfriend, or boyfriend. Or, you know, maybe giant squids don't get into gender stuff.
He finally broke the silence, just as I thought I was gonna wind up in the very scary and dangerous looking zoo I saw back there.
“Now, Ms. Beins. Why don't you join me and my father in the yard," said JSJ Junior.