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My Meeting with slenderman

Well, I say Meeting It was during a normal night for me, which meant I was walking the woods, searching for - I don't know - rabbits, beasts of some sort, a sense of fulfillment in an often cold and chaotic world where it seems kindness is both a naïve luxury that every person has forgotten about and crush it beneath their foot if they just get a simple chance to get just a little higher.

A normal night, when I could feel a horrible creeping presence behind me. The hairs on my arms are standing up, goosebumps and all that jazz. I could see him. The Slender Man was behind me, and I knew then and there that I was going to die. I closed my eyes and waited, kept waiting, and waited, honestly, for longer than I should have been waiting for. When I finally opened my eyes, there was nothing, and I saw the Slender Man in the far distance of the woods. I yelled out to him,

"Hey, Slender Man, you think you're better than me?" He looked around, confused, like there was some other person around who was tall and slender and wearing a suit and had no face.

"No, I don't," he said.

"Then why ain't you Slender man and kill me? You know, like your Slender Man ways or something."

"Oh, that. Well, you see, I don't do that no more." Said Slender Man

"But you're like the Slender Man. It's your whole deal."

"Yeah, truthfully, I usually just stood around places." Said Slender Man


"Yeah. I could never have killed anybody in my life." said slender man


"unless you count doing it with kindness" said slender man

slender man

he laughed at that for a sec

"I was just like ... You know, I'm a people person. Well, I like to think of myself as a people person, but I get nervous, and I don't talk to many people, so I just stand around in the background. Also, I like wearing suits." Said Slender Man

"So you're not a scary hell beast of some sort?"

"No, I mean, am I human? You know, you don't get into it.” Said Slender Man

"So what you doing now anyways? I mean what do you do, then?"

"Oh, well, ever since ... that whole thing took off, it's ... that was fun, but it got thin, you know? It was a real marketing coup for me. I appeared in a couple of commercials. I got pretty popular and then I thought you know what? Why I gotta do all this work so I set up franchise schools to have other people be the Slender Man. Boy, that was a huge hit. I made so much money off of that. I pretty much retired."  Said Slender Man


"Yeah. Oh, I gotta tell you. Retirement is fantastic. I used the money I made from franchising my name to buy some choice real estate, invest in a few start-ups and I gotta tell you, I'm a multi-billionaire now. Your old Slendy did pretty well for himself. I mostly just drive around on a boat. I say boat. Some people call it a floating city. I just do stuff there." Said Slender Man

“You're really just some rich dude? “ I said

“Yep. That's me. Just a Sellout Sally. Listen but do you want to do this? You want to do this? You want to get the full Slender Man experience I can accomplish that for you.” Said Slender Man

It was then that the Slender Man, at almost imperceptible speed came right up to me. I could feel the fawning darkness surround around me. The air smelled distinctly like buzz of hornets. I knew then that finally, I was going to get killed by the famous monster, the Slender Man. Do it. Okay. He seemed to raise bigger, more powerful. He stared directly into me. He crouched right up to my ear.

“Boo.” He said Then, he just turned into his normal, super-tall, super-thin be-suited self.

“That's it? “  I siad

“Yep. That's it. I got to get going. Stay gold, Pony Boy. “ said slender-man

He then took out a ukulele, played it and started singing a whistle tune. None of it rhymed, of course, but you know. He's not a professional singer or nothing. Anyways, I never did see Slender Man again in person. A few weeks later, I was watching the Business Channel, and they had an interview with him about stock tips. He seemed pretty knowledgeable about it. They  also profiled his boat, and it was a giant floating forest. The interviewer was really impressed with it you me also.  


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