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Boy, them Marvel movies.

Boy, them Marvel movies.

 Hi, everybody. Boy, them Marvel movies. Lot of people like talking about them Marvel movies. You could almost say it's a popular subject of discussion. And boy, if there's one thing I wanna be is popular.

I like laughing. Jokes are fun. Jokes are real fun. My name is Alistair Cartwright, I'm an aspiring webcomic writer. I don't got friends or nothing, partly 'cause I live in a vault. Like a large, giant vault that seemingly goes on forever.

I remember at one point that I didn't live in a vault, but then I was just standing around, minding my own business, being pretty darn lazy. I wasted my entire toddler years, just sitting around. I didn't even go to the bathroom, that's how lazy I was. The Master has told me these things, and says pretty soon I'll be able to clear all my minds of evil alien thoughts. But for now, I live in this giant vault that seems to be never ending, and full of constant twists and turns.

At one point I thought I had gotten free, but I had not. In fact, such the opposite. In fact, that entire part was just an elaborate section of the vault. I seen the Marvel movies. At least, I'm pretty sure I did. I'm gonna describe my favorite ones, like in a Top Five category sorta thing. There's gonna be a lot of them, five particularly. I shouldn't have been like "There should be a lot of them." Boy, the Master would be mad. And you don't wanna make the Master mad. I had a brother at one point.

Okay. So first Marvel movie that I think is real fun, is that movie where the guy who looks a lot like a Master, Chris Hemsworth as the Master explained to me several times. I've never met the Master. I just receive notes from him, often taped to my body when I'm sleeping. I just wake up and I look down, and there's a new note. And one of the times, the note said "I look a lot like Chris Hemsworth, aka Thor." And I'm like, that's neat. That's real cool. I like Thor. Thor's a real fun character.

Master says in many other ways, he's a lot like Thor. The fact that he's God, and that he can eat numerous cans like a goat, who the Master claims was the first animal he created. He says oftentimes, he gets really angry that he tried to go for humans, because the goats were so perfect. He likes goats.

The mayor of the vault is a goat. And so is the vice mayor. It took many years for a non-goat to become anything in the political system here. I like the Thor movies. The next movies I like, you could say these are the number two movies I enjoy, are different ones.

You know how the Master, who claims he can control the weather and stuff, and I believe it, because here in the vault anytime it rains or gets lightnings, you can know the Master's angry. I receive the notes that I got when I woke up after a big scary rain/lightning storm were from the Master, and he said he was angry at me. I had expressed interest in leaving the vault at one point, and he said no. And then wildebeests killed my brother. Anyways.

I like the Avengers movie, with that Scarlet Witch lady. I know she can't control the weather, but in theory she could, and I like to imagine that she creates a whole flood that will come and wash away this whole thing, freeing us and bringing my brother back to life. He liked tomatoes.

Number three. You know what guy I like? I like that Tony Stark. Tony Stark's a pretty cool dude, 'cause Tony Stark is like, you ever seen the way a goat will just come up and grow legs and strangle you for a few minutes, and you're pretty sure you're gonna die, and in that moment you get real cocky about things, like "Finally, I get to be free from this horrible nightmare that I have been punished for, all because my father accidentally once pushed over the Master when they were in grade school." And then no, I have to live unfortunately.

Well, Tony Stark exudes that stuff all the time, and I think that's cool that a person can do that without being nearly strangled to death by a goat.

Okay. Let's see. Number four. Okay. The Master has repeated several times that despite what the movies say, I guess one of the questions you all may be asking yourself is how do we get the movies? I don't know. I don't know, I just wake up knowing them. I think the Master likes them. And we tend to see whatever the Master likes. Anyways.

I like Guardians of the Galaxy, I think the raccoon is super cute and funny, and that's my pick. And number five is Captain Corelli's Mandolin. I don't know if that's a Marvel movie, but I've only ever seen four to five movies in my life, and the fifth one was Captain Corelli's Mandolin. The Master likes that movie. I don't know why. I don't even know what a mandolin is.

Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna lie in a small little ball for the next several days in celebration of my birthday. Bye.

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