Ten Things You Don't Know About Spiderman
Five things that you don't know about Spider-Man.
The first one is that there was another Spider-Man in the Marvel Universe before Spider-Man, like the Peter Parker one. Story by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee was about a spider that was doused in radiation and had human-like intelligence. That was something, right? Do you feel good for knowing that? I'm sure it means something to you. I hope it does.
Spider-Man's web only lasts for an hour, which is a fact I think a lot of people knew. It's a pretty famous fact. That's something. Yay, facts! We all love facts.
Yeah, Peter Parker has died three times, which happens in the comic book world and it's not that shocking.
Alright, just what does any of this matter? Is any of this important? Did It fix your life? I don't know, nothing? Less than nothing? Totally worthless? Oh boy, you do a real great job with the article right? Cause you know all these random trivia facts and it's Hooray! We're all just so alone. That's the truth of it, isn't it? We're all just so alone and miserable.
But, I'm doing goddamn Spider-Man articles. You know he's not real, right? And even if he was real, he probably wouldn't give a damn about you. Why? Because he wouldn't know you! He has his own stuff to deal with and ... I forgot, I don't care. Who cares? What is the point of any of this? I keep saying someday this is gonna be something but it's not. And we're all just so alone. Everybody is just so alone and it's just not ending. And the world just seems to be getting worse and the only thing we can do is go back into these small holes and just pretend like, "Oh, please, please let this be it!" I just don't know, man. I just don't know.
Peter Parker and Jameson related.
I don't care.