Area man Jeffrey Johanson insisted today when a group of friends started playing the game, Clue, that he gets to play Colonel Mustard, silently assuring himself that Colonel Mustard is obviously the best character, 'cause he was in the military.
So, that means he probably got to super gnarly kill a bunch of people, and everybody else is like bird or like a reverend, and all that stuff is lame as opposed to Colonel Mustard, who probably has big muscles and carries in his teeth a sweet knife that he can totally do sick moves with.
Course, Jeffrey, being 33, never said out loud these thoughts that he had, but just very loudly insisted that he get to play as the character.
He would spend the rest of the game stewing in silence as his best friend's seven-year-old son, also Jeffrey's godson, insisted on playing Colonel Mustard, forcing Jeffrey to play as Mrs. Scarlet, a move that made Jeffery feel very uncomfortable.
"He had to play as Mrs. Scarlet, the girl," quoted Jeffrey Johanson, who is married and has a high-level position in the white house.