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Who would win in a fight between Mario and Link?

Who would win in a fight between Mario and Link?

  Well, Mario and Link are both opponents of great power. Mario, of course, can have fire come out of his hands sometimes, and also he can break bricks with his hands, whereas Link is an expert sword person / bow person / boomerang person. So if they meet on the field of battle, prepping, and Link begins to shine sheath his sword and starts sharpening it for most menacing effect because Link wants to be both a menacing looking dude and also to have a properly sharpened sword. And Mario starts hitting on a brick wall in prep. And then they start and the thing starts to like coordinate and they got, like, scientifically speaking, a pretty sweet groove, it will start to happen. And they realize that they shouldn't fight, they should form a band.

which they name "Band" and their band has a hit single called "Oh Yeah, Baby! Oh, Yeah! Baby, Baby. Oh, Yeah! Baby." Of course, Mario and Link hit the big time, musically speaking. They're hanging with all the big celebrities, visiting all the sights. They sell out Madison Square Garden. Everybody's freaking out. They're going, "Mario and Link!" But then it starts to just be screaming, "Link" because, you know, Link's got the pretty boy looks, so he's obviously the front man. And although Mario is most likely the one handling the pure musicianship of thing, Link of course get more publicity stuff, so.

   Then of course a resentment and feud breaks out between them, and they break up, and they each start a solo career with Mario, you know, going in the alternative and more like hardcore and really speaking to like his working-class roots. He starts writing politically charged songs about Socialism and he gets real punk rock even. Whereas Link, the more pretty of the two, starts getting more poppy and true Link his sound really smooths out and they lose the combination of sword scrape and wall punch that made them a hit in the first place. Of course Link is the one that ends up more popular. But in the end Mario wins because although Link's music was a bigger hit in time, Mario's music was the one that survived with its gritty, you know, working class angst that only a true Italian plumber could bring forth. So, the winner, Mario.

I'm corn now! : An Editorial by Gerard Butler

I'm corn now! : An Editorial by Gerard Butler

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