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Cookies that talk and drive cars into lakes and don’t listen to their mothers because they don’t care

 sinker

The first cookie is this beautiful snickerdoodle. It loves to drive its fast Ferrari into Lake Wanamapongpak, It's gone through 20 Ferraris, each one more beautiful than the last. It'll just sit there and watch the Ferrari fall deep into the river knowing that its mother will have to get it another Ferrari, and when the mother suggests to not damage so many Ferraris, the snickerdoodle does not listen to her.

  This chocolate chip cookie that's so dam sexy and it does not have to freaking try

This chocolate chip cookie that's so dam sexy and it does not have to freaking try

This chocolate chip cookie is part of a secret underground game where you get more and more points for driving more and more cars into lakes. The chocolate chip cookie is lower on the ranks, but it's slowly rising. Its mother keeps going ... say that it don't like this, but the chocolate chip cookie, like most of the cookies, don't bother to listen to its mother. Chocolate chip cookie has a dream, and it'll achieve this dream no matter what, that's for sure. It's frickin bad ass.

 If all the freaking cats know the how to play music and then they became cookies this cookie is what they would be

If all the freaking cats know the how to play music and then they became cookies this cookie is what they would be

What about this oatmeal raisin cookie? Does it talk and drive cars into lakes and not listen to its mother? You better believe it, Buster Brown. In fact, it's so frickin into its driving cars into lakes that it started a whole car company and keeps doing it no matter what. Its mother keeps going on about how the cars are all so well reviewed and cheap and energy efficient that this cookie could easily become the top financial dynamo and be the richest cookie in Cookie World. Does the cookie care? It don't care. It don't care. Because it's all about the game, all about the beautiful sinking of the car into the lake. The mothers of cookies never get the frickin like deal with them. It's why these cookies that talk and drive cars into lakes don't listen to their mothers. Also they all have New York accents, I didn't mention that up to this point, but they all got them. Each and every last one of them speaks thickly New York, brother.

I'm sorry I didn't fix global warming by shooting it in the face. An apology by Gerard Butler.

I'm sorry I didn't fix global warming by shooting it in the face. An apology by Gerard Butler.

The list of things Richard Linklater should do with his time when he's not making movies.

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