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Area man sadly realizes that Buzzfeed perfectly encompasses his political ideology.

Local area man, Arthur P. Wingerson, came to the sad and horrific realization that Buzzfeed, a website that is used numerous times in articles and has an I don't do that more than once philosophy, no matter how much of an extrovert you are. It also uses various quizzes. It perfectly embodies every single thing he thinks and believes, he realized as he miserably and deadly-eyed scrolled through the bright colors and numerous guests. The world seemed a little bleaker to him, and a little less hopeful. He wondered what the point of it all was in the end.

 buzzfeed

"Why does any of this even matter. God damn. They really think that your car preferences can be based on Disney stuff. Who cares about this? What sort of idiot would care about any of this? There's a section called Tasty, and you agree with every single bit of it. He realized life will remain bleak. All that you once loved is now free to be commoditized by the wealthy. Do you believe in racial equality? Now that beautiful Pepsi ad can accomplish it for you. Life is not worth living the way you live it. But what is left, fucking Return of the Kings? What do you want to be, stupid and just flat out evil? Nothing matters. Oh dear god. Oh dear god. It just gets worse the more you do it. Nothing matters. Life is unclickable. Let it all end. Let it all end," he said.

Noted Fantastic Four composer Philip Glass apparently experiments with opera.

Local Diner Big Hit with New Sandwich

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