Looking Back at My Participation Trophy

Boy, how proud I felt when, as a child, I desperately tried to nurse that impossible, never-gonna-happen-in-a-million-years, very dumb dream of becoming a professional baseball player.

I would run and get exhausted and fail miserably and loser who lost and come in last place, and then, at the end of the year, as a testament to how great I failed, they would in bronze present me with a trophy that I would forever be able to see a trophy saying Last Place. That would then be displayed very prominently, in a high position, so that all could see how terribly I did for the rest of my life. Boy, it made me feel proud to see that.

They Found The Speech That Caleb Bradham Gave When Crystal Pepsi failed

Shigeru Miyamoto's plumber Mario has just gotten a Nintendo.

Shigeru Miyamoto's plumber Mario has just gotten a Nintendo.

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