No One Discusses my Dancing Anymore: An Editorial by Vladimir Putin

Oh what happened to me? There was once a time when I was still in the KGB when they would say, “There goes Vladimir Putin, the best dancer in all of Russia.”

When I was young: Vladimir Putin dancing to his dreams

When I was young: Vladimir Putin dancing to his dreams

But nobody talks about that anymore. You know this whole being President of Russia was just supposed to be a day job thing, now it has just overtaken my whole life. I barely get to the studio anymore, and when I do I am way behind on my reps. Everybody has moved on to interpretative hip-hop but old Vladdy here. Uch, I remember when I was brutally crushing any political opponent I did it through the rhythmic jazz, and they all knew this Putin guy - you know, this is the guy we need.

They had never seen somebody turn Jay Z’s Big Pimping into such a beautiful ballet of intimate movement and pure sex appeal like Vladimir Putin. Uch. Well, I have to get going now. They once again are calling for Vladimir Putin, one of Russia’s best dancers to do the boring, non-important things like trade negotiations. Man, Putin’s name used to mean something in this town. I had respect – the respect given to a hip-hop interpretive dancer.

Dan Slott is an Inhuman Monster.

Hamlet and Fortinbras : This like super serious camlotieans