You know me. I'm just your simple ever-loving young man who wants to make it big in comics. There I am, a big-time comic book writer, but there's a global conspiracy going on that nobody's talking about, and it's the one that whenever I sit near a woman she moves to another seat. I don't know why it's happening, and I try constantly to break through to them, but they're just so easily influenced by what must be a global conspiracy directly targeting me to keep my visionary ideas out of the public consciousness. Why else would it be that when I sit right next to a woman on the train she scoots away from me, and then when I continually scoot to get closer she just doesn't want to sit next to me? The only explanation is conspiracy.