Is Donald Trump a werewolf? Maybe. He’s certainly hairy enough to be a werewolf, and he certainly represents getting the good-looking girls in the way that most werewolf fiction does. Now the truth about Donald Trump being a werewolf or not a werewolf will never be fully known. An equally plausible theory is that he could be a vampire, brutally sucking on the blood of his victims. The most important thing to remember is that Donald Trump is a horrific 1900's business man from the dark shadows of society, and whether he be an ancient evil god or not, it is important to remember when meeting him, as I did on Friday, to never look directly in his eyes, for you will disappear for a thousand years, lost in a time void. Maybe. Who knows? There is a good chance it was just a corpulent old redhead from New York that I met. Another good chance is that that corpulent old homeless man was Donald Trump from an alternate universe where life is just fair. The most important thing to remember is that there is an 80 to 90 percent chance that Donald Trump is a werewolf. Anyway, have fun everybody, and have a great Fourth of July.