Hello, the name is Rex Hammer. I was all but an official consult to the greatest president on earth – Grover Cleveland and I’ve got some opinions about things – comments that might not be so P.C. Today, I’d like to talk to you about a less-discussed section of how big government likes to interfere with your life. We all know it. It’s so pervasive at the moment that we don’t even acknowledge good American people who call themselves good patriotic Americans. If George Washington could feel these scum, these infuriating monsters who dredge up and destroy the pure nation that is America with their socialist blood, he would weep.
That’s right. Have you ever thought of the freedom stomps that the Big Sun infringes on you, and I’m talking about the biggest one of all – your shadow. Who says that some unknown authority, probably controlled by Comrade Obama, has the right to tell you when or when not your body can project its light on the ground. I don’t know. That’s not the America I want to live in. The America I want to live in is hopefully full of dust somewhere in space like it was meant to be, and if we have to have a sun, let’s keep it in one position and one position only. These are opinions I am, of course, very passionate about. That is why I employ several psyches to try and infiltrate the mind of our greatest American hero, Donald Trump, in hopes that he will finally enact every true Conservative’s plan of dismantling the big government project The Sun.