How I saved The Pope and the Dalai Llama From Sam Worthington: an Article by Gerard Butler.
I race through the city in my patented Gerard Butler mobile. It's a customized Lamborghini that looks exactly like my head. I got to the UN Peace Keeper party just as the Pope and the Dalai Llama were putting on their patented double comedy act.
"Who's on first?" said the Dalai Llama.
"I don't know, Dalai Llama, who is on first?" said the Pope.
There was just a giant screen in front of it. Certainly time to rid this place of Sam Worthington. "Hello. Hello UN peace committees. It is me."
"No, Sam Worthington, the star of such films as Avatar and Terminator: Salvation?" said the Pope.
"One and the same."
"What do you want with us?" said the Dalai Llama.
I jumped up on stage. "He wants to say his nickname."
"You mean the nickname that is so cool that if he were to say it, a pocket of the universe would crush itself? A small localized area of the universe crushes itself?" said the Pope.
"Aye, the one and the same," I said.
“Why Sam, why are you doing this? I'm sorry you didn't make the A-list, but the B-list is good enough. Most people work their entire lives to get to the B-List," I said, trying to desperately reason with the criminal mastermind, Sam Worthington.
"Ah Gerard Butler. such a naïve fool. Don't you see? If I manage to get rid of both the Pope and the Dalai Llama, I'll be past any list; neither the B-list nor the A-list would even matter to me. Not even the Moon Studio will matter. I'll go down into the secret list, the most fusa list,” said Sam Worthington.
"I'm not sure what he means by that," said the Dalai Lama.
"Well, let me explain it to you. it has been a myth in the celebrity community for many a year. They say that the aim is, in fact, a list beyond the A-list."
"But doesn't it seem off? It doesn't seem possible. The A-list is the top of the list of lists,” said the pope.
"Yes. In theory it is, but it's a scientist who is played by a well-known character actor. He specializes in Scientists."
"You mean Jeffrey Wright?" said the Dalai Lama.
"Yes, Jeffrey Wright theorized that one day it could be theoretically possible for a list beyond the A list to exist, and only a few great celebrities could truly get on it, and that's Worthington's plan,” I said.
“ Yes. Being an actor/international criminal mastermind would get me on it," said Sam Worthington.
"Dammit. Dammit. But you know they will not hire you for anything,” I said.
“They will not need to. At that point I will have gained all the celebrity power, and I will be the most powerful, and I will decide which movies get made. Let me give you a hint, Nothing but Man on a Ledge sequels," said Sam Worthington.
"But no man should have that power," said the Dalai Lama.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Let me start saying my nick name."
"Wait a minute. I can hear his distinct Sam Worthington laughter coming from some place. Over there! It was a distinctly manly looking nun, it was like looking really hard into a menu. It was when I ripped, ripped away Sam Worthington is the star of films such as Avatar and Terminator: Salvation," I said and also thought.
"Gerard Butler. How did you notice?" You were laughing in the middle of a dining room, everybody could hear it.
"Damn! My plans were so genius. Its a pity. Well. Lets do this." And he begun to say his most fiendish nickname. It was then that I, the Pope and the Dalai Lama all punched him out at once and it was able to save reality.
I, Gerard Butler, returned to my nightly perch as I observed the town. What fiendish forces lay in the future for Gerard Butler? Will Sam Worthington be able to get out of prison and wreak his Sam Worthington havoc? What is Tom Skerritt currently planning at the moment? And what of the greatest criminal mastermind the world has ever known, Nicholas Cage, what shall he do? What is he currently planning at the moment. Whatever it is, I, Gerard Butler, am dedicated to stopping it. I leaped off and glided in my patented Gerard Butler cape.