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Justice League is the worst movie ever.

Justice League is the worst movie ever.

Man, Justice League is such bullshit. Not only did they have the gall to cast Ben Affleck as Batman, a man I could totally beat up.

Who does Ben Affleck think he is? He comes at me. I go like, "Hah. Hah." He dead. He dead. I can just put out one hand, and I can beat him up. He ain't no Batman. They also ... Aquaman? Aquaman aint' got nothing. Aquaman swims. I don't got to swim. I live on land, like a man, not a fish. He's a fish.

I have evolved. I can breathe air. What can Aquaman do? Not.

So, all I got to do is just stand outside of the water and Aquaman can't do anything to me. No, I have not read any Aquaman comics and do not know anything about the character, except that he's a fish of some sort. What else? What else?

Yeah, they got Wonder Woman in there. You know what I say to that? I could be a much better inspiration to women.

What about the Flash? Flash ain't got nothing on me. I can run faster than anyone. I'm the fastest person alive. They keep saying, "The fastest man alive," and I go like, "Yo, I'm right over here. That's me, buddy."

Boomshakalakala.

Usian Bolt? He ain't nothing. I ran faster than him. One time, there was this race. We were both at the Olympics. I didn't get in because I didn't want to get in, because I'm better than everybody and I don't need to prove myself. I was running, and Usian Bolt was running, and I totally ran faster than him, and Usian Bolt was like, "Whoa, man. You're the fastest runner I've ever seen."

I was like, "Yeah. I know I am. No big deal. No big deal." Totally happened, but he'll deny it if you ask him about it because Usian Bolt is a coward. He can't admit that he's slower than me, the fastest man alive.

What about Cyborg? Ph. I can build robots. I can build a robot like, no problem. One time, I built a robot. It was so good it became a state senator in Nebraska. Ask him about it. Ask one of them. They'll say, "Yeah, that dude built me. I'm a robot. That's for sure true, man."

So, just to recap, I'm the smartest, bravest, and greatest person in the world, and the reason Justice League sucks is because I can do all that stuff that they say they can. I don't know what makes them so superheroes. 

Do you own Al Capone's Favorite T-shirt, You Just Might.

Four Days of Elia Kazan: Day Four On the Waterfront

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