Justice League is the worst movie ever.
Man, Justice League is such bullshit. Not only did they have the gall to cast Ben Affleck as Batman, a man I could totally beat up.
Who does Ben Affleck think he is? He comes at me. I go like, "Hah. Hah." He dead. He dead. I can just put out one hand, and I can beat him up. He ain't no Batman. They also ... Aquaman? Aquaman aint' got nothing. Aquaman swims. I don't got to swim. I live on land, like a man, not a fish. He's a fish.
I have evolved. I can breathe air. What can Aquaman do? Not.
So, all I got to do is just stand outside of the water and Aquaman can't do anything to me. No, I have not read any Aquaman comics and do not know anything about the character, except that he's a fish of some sort. What else? What else?
Yeah, they got Wonder Woman in there. You know what I say to that? I could be a much better inspiration to women.
What about the Flash? Flash ain't got nothing on me. I can run faster than anyone. I'm the fastest person alive. They keep saying, "The fastest man alive," and I go like, "Yo, I'm right over here. That's me, buddy."
Usian Bolt? He ain't nothing. I ran faster than him. One time, there was this race. We were both at the Olympics. I didn't get in because I didn't want to get in, because I'm better than everybody and I don't need to prove myself. I was running, and Usian Bolt was running, and I totally ran faster than him, and Usian Bolt was like, "Whoa, man. You're the fastest runner I've ever seen."
I was like, "Yeah. I know I am. No big deal. No big deal." Totally happened, but he'll deny it if you ask him about it because Usian Bolt is a coward. He can't admit that he's slower than me, the fastest man alive.
What about Cyborg? Ph. I can build robots. I can build a robot like, no problem. One time, I built a robot. It was so good it became a state senator in Nebraska. Ask him about it. Ask one of them. They'll say, "Yeah, that dude built me. I'm a robot. That's for sure true, man."
So, just to recap, I'm the smartest, bravest, and greatest person in the world, and the reason Justice League sucks is because I can do all that stuff that they say they can. I don't know what makes them so superheroes.